


So That's What Happens When The Master Pokes Your Eye Out

by EternalRedWolfe



Series: Inspired by HUSH:  A BUFFY PODCAST [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Colin (not the annointed one; the one that gets stabbed in the eye in The Harvest)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-10 12:37:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14737088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalRedWolfe/pseuds/EternalRedWolfe
Summary: *A short story for the lovely hosts of Hush: A Buffy Podcast to give them a little closure to the vampire named Colin, the vampire who got poked in the eye by The Master in The Harvest*This is the story of what happens when the Master pokes your eye out but doesn't sever any brain function





	So That's What Happens When The Master Pokes Your Eye Out

This had never happened to her before. She'd seen it happen, known people it had happened to. Generally it was never more than one or two people from the same hospital, but all hospital staff knew each other. They talked about the men in suits, the dark cars with blacked out windows the blindfolds. But they never said what it led to. Anytime she saw the men in suits she would hold back a bit down the hall, watch them out of the corner of her eye. They never noticed her. Or never seemed to.

Until tonight.

When they looked down the hall, when the receptionist pointed down in her direction she didn't imagine that they were referring to her. But then they started walking and she knew. She didn't know how she knew but she knew.

"Can you come with us, please, ma'am?"

She look behind herself down the hall, then back at the two black suited men. All they are missing are sunglasses. "Me? Why?"

"That'll become clear. Please." One of the suits stepped behind her while number 2 led the way down the hall. She was led out the front door and to a black sedan. The black sedan. With the blacked out windows. She sat in the middle, the two suits on either side of her, as the car tumbled towards the outskirts of town.

"Well, if you're going to kidnap me we should at least do this on friendly terms. My name is Cara." No response. "'Cara. Well That's a pretty name.' Why, thank you, I've thought so all my life." Nothing.

She drummed her fingers on her knee until the car pulled to a stop.

The Suits got out of either side of the car, leaving Cara sitting in the middle until she gathered the nerve to get out. The Suits were waiting outside and when she got out they resumed their positioning of one in front and one in the back. They led her into the building. The structure of the old Sunnydale Hospital, built sometime in the late 1800, abandoned in the 50s. She'd never been out this way. She'd only been in Sunnydale a few weeks but she knew enough about this town to know that you don't go outside after dark and you steer clear of abandoned buildings. Two more suits stood at the main door and pulled the doors open as they approached and closed them again behind them. Cara was led down to the back end of the hospital. They opened the doors.

The place was...busy. From the outside it looked abandoned. From the inside there was a lot more to it. There were beds and curtains and medical supplies. The staff were white as a sheet. The patients, fewer than she'd ever seen on any ward, were something else entirely. Their teeth were fanged, their eyes glowing and their faces rigid and stone.

Suit Number 1 pulled open a curtain. Cara gasped.

The man behind the curtain was fanged, glowey-eyed, rigid, and more. That wasn't the disturbing part. The disturbing part wasn't even the gaping hole in his left eye. It was the goofy grin that was plastered across his face.

He waved cheerily at Cara. "Hello."

Cara raised her hand half-heartedly and walked into the section. The Suits pulled the blinds closed and left them alone. Cara looked into the cavity.

"Oh, that's not the problem." He pulled up his shirt and revealed a large through and through gash in his abdomen. This didn't phase Cara. She set about work on the gash. "I'm Colin."

"Cara."

"Pretty."

"What are you?"

"A Vampire."

Cara didn't know what else to say other than 'oh'. "This is a Vampire hospital?"

"Yeah, the mayor set this up a few years back. He's a big believer in vampires and demons living in communities having their own amenities."

Vampires and demons... In Sunnydale. This was a lot to take in. "So, how did..." She gestured at the gaping hole.

"Oh, uh." He laughed. "It's kind of a funny story. I was working for this guy and he got angry."

"That doesn't sound very funny."

"He called himself The Master."

Cara snorted. "Now that's funny."

"Naw, he was nice really. I didn't work for him that long. A day. He had a bad temper."

"Was he a vampire too? Is?"

"The oldest."

"I guess he really is the boss from hell."

How was it so easy to talk to a vampire? No, hang on, I am talking to a vampire? Master of darkness? A damn novel that she was never able to get through.

"Actually, that was based on Dracula. I think you think out loud when you're stressed. It's cute." Whoa. _Is he flirting with me? Did I say that out loud?_ She studied Colin and couldn't see any sign that he'd heard her. He continued on his rant. " And it had it's problems but it got a few things wrong but we don't do sun light. Fire. Silver. Holy water. It was based on a true story, though. Dracula. Good guy, met him once. Hot. Sorry, I babble when I'm being bandaged up. It's a really bad habit. Sometimes it happened in the church. I think that might be part of the reason this happened." He pointed to his eye. "My eyesight is still pretty good - oh, hey Darla!" Cara turned around to see a young-looking blonde vampire, her already rigid face covered in red welts, some even blistering. She looked over at Cara and Colin and growled. Cara quickly turned away and went back to finishing up Colin's wound. He leaned forward, conspiratorially, and said so quietly she could barely hear him, "Looks like a holy water attack." He winced.

"So do vampires have really good hearing?"

For the next 45 minutes, Colin talked to her about so many myths, debunking some, supporting others, discussing other cultures practices against vampires, like in Iceland they nail the suspected vampire to their coffin; in Ireland they pile stones on the grave; in Poland they bury them facedown. Cara found this one particularly hilarious, just imagining the vampires digging down until they realised they were going the wrong way.

The wound was bandaged; it was already healing really well. "Well, you're all done. I'll be right back."

She came back after a few minutes and opened her hand out to him.

"An eyepatch! This is great, thanks, Cara. Y'know, it was really nice to talk to someone about more than blood types."

"As long as you didn't want to drink me dry," she joked.

"Oh, I did." Cara froze, but when he winked suggestively at her she smiled and batted his arm. He slipped on the eyepatch.

"A vampirate."

"Maybe I can make up a new story for myself."

"Where will you go?"

"Paris is always good this time of year. Long dark nights, cold. Keeps bodies fresh." Cara nodded. She was about to ask him how but he cut her off. "I'll head for the docks." He hopped off the bed. "Bye, Cara, it was really nice to meet you."

"You too, Colin."

The next day her friends kept pestering her: what did she do? What did she see?

She couldn't tell them. Honestly. She couldn't remember. For the rest of her life, Cara would have a regular dream about a pirate vampire in Paris.


End file.
